Funny Coffee Quotes

 Start your new day with a cup of coffee and some funny quotes!!!

 

 

If this is coffee, then please-bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

~Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

I think we all pray to the first cup of the day. It's a silent prayer, sung while the mind is still foggy and blue. "O Magic Cup," it might go, "carry me above the traffic jam. Keep me civil in the subway. And forgive my employer, as you forgive me. Amen"

~Stewert Lee Allen

Only one thing is certian about coffee.... Wherever it is grown, sold, brewed, and consumed, there will be lively controversy, strong opinions, and good conversation.

~Mark Pendergrast

"Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love."

~That's the recipe for coffee, according to the utterly French statesman Talleyrand (1754-1838).

The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.

~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., "Over the Teacups," 1891

Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.

~Drew Sirtors

Over second and third cups flow matters of high finance, high state, common gossip and low comedy. [Coffee] is a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so. From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat.

~Author Unknown

No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils.

~Henry Ward Beecher

I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.

~Flash Rosenberg

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

~Author Unknown

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.

~Author Unknown

Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister.

~Bob Irwin

I bought a decaffeinated coffee table, you can't even see a difference.

~Author Unknown

Decaf? No, it's dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream.

~Author Unknown

Chocolate, men, coffee - some things are better rich.

~Author Unknown

Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.

~Star Trek: Voyager

Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.

~Author Unknown

He was my cream, and I was his coffee - And when you poured us together, it was something.

~Josephine Baker

Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.

~Jessi Lane Adams

Deja Brew: The feeling that you've had this coffee before.

~Author Unknown

I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.

~Harry Mahtar

Suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, without causing excess heat; the organ of thought receives from it a feeling of sympathy; work becomes easier and you will sit down without distress to your principal repast which will restore your body and afford you a calm, delicious night.

~Prince Tallyrand

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

~Ronald Reagan

Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a danish.

~Author Unknown

I like my coffee strong, not lethal!

~M*A*S*H

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.

~Stephanie Piro

Coffee and tobacco are complete repose.

~Turkish Proverb

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee.

~Carly Simon